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Y hæd djust finixd rédk qis when q trumpets sudnli sésd tú plá. A car trnd around q cornr ænd olmóst ruxd intú q dænsk croud. Q dryvr slæmd on q brács, stopd q car wiq xréck tyrs, djumpd out ænd clymbd upon q rwf. When q dænsrs hæd gæqrd around q car, hé græbd a megafón ænd bégæn tú spéc in fyv diferent lækguidjs about q flos v syens, ænd v filoso fi in particiúlr. Hé clámd qæt æn invizibl grúp v wimn ænd men hæd témd up tú débunc ol qéz sistms; qæt qá hæd found épistmólodjicl méns tú rédéfyn hiúmn cultiúr in its entyrti. Góld máck ænd tym trævlk wr q lést amok q hundred qiks qá hæd atjévd. Qá wr sed tú hæv found out qæt wn cwd imédiatli afect qiks by mænipiúlátk q wrds représentk qem, qus táck ful contról óvr mætr, spás ænd tym aválabl tú evriwn. Qá olsó clámd tú hæv inventd a nú iúnivrsl lækguidj in whitj qá cwd telepæqicli comiúnicát óvr wn qouznd myls. Fynali, qá hæd lodjicli disprúvd q nóxns v lyf ænd deq ænd qus colectivyzd imortæliti. Sins qer insyts hæd bén sylntli grón ænd imprúvd óvr q yérs ænd nou xwd help a djeneral réinvenxn v q wrld, qá nó lokgr wixd tú disgyz qemselvs, but disclóz qer sécrets tú evriwn hú wd prúv cápabl v résévk qem. Y wasnt xúr wheqr y xwd bé horifyd by qéz proclamáxns or rédjois in enqúziæzm. Xwd y piti my ænsestrs hú wr nevr ofrd sutj nolidj in qer lyvs, ænd bé hæpi about q tótl frédm y was givn? Did it mén qæt ol mizeri wd bé stopd ænd ol béléfs défétd? Or wr ol qéz promises ván ænd déseptiv, a djyant hócs or frod? If qóz pépl wr só convinsd v qer discoveris, why didnt qá der tú com intú q dályt, why did qá whisl out v qer hóls lyc cávmen? If qer sistm was æz prfect ænd imiún agenst abiús æz qá clámd, why qóz précoxns agenst máck it public?

I had just finished reading when the trumpets suddenly ceased to play. A car turned around the corner and almost rushed into the dancing crowd. The driver slammed on the brakes, stopped the car with shrieking tires, jumped out and climbed upon the roof. When the dancers had gathered around the car, he grabbed a megaphone and began to speak in five different languages about the flaws of science, and of philosophy in particular. He claimed that an invisible group of women and men had teamed up to debunk all these systems; that they had found epistemological means to redefine human culture in its entirety. Goldmaking and time travelling were the least among the hundred things they had achieved. They were said to have found out that one could immediately affect things by manipulating the words representing them, thus making full control over matter, space and time available to everyone. They also claimed to have invented a new universal language in which they could telepathically communicate over one thousand miles. Finally, they had logically disproven the notions of life and death and thus collectivized immortality. Since their insights had been silently grown and improved over the years and now should help a general reinvention of the world, they no longer wished to disguise themselves, but disclose their secrets to everyone who would prove capable of receiving them. I wasn't sure whether I should be horrified by these proclamations or rejoice in enthusiasm. Should I pity my ancestors who were never offered such knowledge in their lives, and be happy about the total freedom I was given? Did it mean that all misery would be stopped and all beliefs defeated? Or were all these promises vain and deceptive, a giant hoax or fraud? If those people were so convinced of their discoveries, why didn't they dare to come to the daylight, why did they whistle out of their holes like cavemen? If their system was as perfect and immune against abuse as they claimed, why those precautions against making it public?

 

Ménwhyl, q dryvr hæd ópnd q trunc v his car tú q public ænd prézentd a numbr v stránj obdjects for inspecxn ænd prtjas. Hé sed qæt qá wr ol tácn from q trejr v q nú múvmnt ænd xwd sætisfy evriwn interestd in its lrnk. Upon séik q trejr unváld, meni pépl cám ænd bégæn tú by from it. Evriqik was pæcd in bocses wiq culrful artwrc ænd meni diferent inscripxns, sutj æz:

Meanwhile, the driver had opened the trunk of his car to the public and presented a number of strange objects for inspection and purchase. He said that they were all taken from the treasure of the new movement and should satisfy everyone interested in its learning. Upon seeing the treasure unveiled, many people came and began to buy from it. Everything was packed in boxes with colorful artwork and many different inscriptions, such as:

 
 

Letrs v q Invizibl Men
Q Æsolt on Trúq
Merlinus Coccajus de Mysteriis
Imatérializm Nou!
Q Bwc v Trædixn
Piramid v Hyer Sivilyzáxn
Q Dispózl v q Iúnivrs
Q Rédabiliti q Subteránian Wrld
Sevn by Nyn Contradicxns Réiúnifyd
Mæcrócozm Ænd Mycreócozm in Contenxn
Scuer Invádrs
Concordia on q Forck Pæq
Q Hous v Afinitis
Omnium Bonum
Q Électiv Mynd
Q Méror v Speciúláxn
etc. etc.

Letters of the Invisible Men
The Assault on Truth
Merlinus Coccajus de mysteriis
Immaterialism Now!
The Book of Tradition
Pyramid of Higher Civilization
The Disposal of the Universe
The Readability the Subterranean World
Seven by Nine Contradictions Reunified
Macrocosm and Microcosm in Contention
Square Invaders
Concordia on the Forking Path
The House of Affinities
Omnium Bonum
The Elective Mind
The Mirror of Speculation
etc. etc.

 
 

Evri byer résévd a warnk not tú ópn eni bocs, oqrwyz its intrnl potenxl wd bé rélésd ænd vænix. Qis was acompænid by q noiz v meni trumpets. It was a confiúzd cæcofoni, q trumpets wr out v tún, ænd q pláers blú wiqout mrsi. But it didnt distrb mé sins it ónli prúvd qæt a big orgænizáxn was béhynd it. When y wocd out, y so a lardj stádj qæt must hæv bén set up æt nyt. On top wr som wimn hú blú lok tin trumpets. Meni pépl hæd asembld in front v q stádj, ænd qá wr ol æbsorbd in a complicátd dæns v meni individjúal tuists ænd trns. Y so countles múvmnts crosk étj oqr in móst delicat wés. Evriqik was continiúali ænd vyváxusli tjánjk direcxns, but -- qæt was q méracl -- nóbodi evr cólyded. Stændk necst tú mé was a mæn hú hæd brot his wyf ænd a tjyld wiq him. Qá xúrli ædmyrd q dæns ænd q trumpet plá, but sémd confiúzd. Y felt q sám. Æftr y hæd watjd ænd lisnd for a srtn whyl, y trnd tú q mæn ænd æscd him wheqr qis was a mætriciúláxn seremóni. Hé réplyd wiq a stránj djestiúr, ænd só y répétd my cuestjn sevrl tyms ntil y undrstwd qæt q mæn cwdnt hér mé; ænd y réalyzd qæt ol q oqr pépl wr def æz wel. Hé qen pointd tú a póst qæt hæd escápd my atentjn. Atætjd tú it was a flypóstr, ænd y réd:

Every buyer received a warning not to open any box, otherwise its internal potential would be released and vanish. This was accompanied by the noise of many trumpets. It was a confused cacophony, the trumpets were out of tune, and the players blew without mercy. But it didn't disturb me since it only proved that a big organization was behind it. When I walked out, I saw a large stage that must have been set up at night. On top were some women who blew long tin trumpets. Many people had assembled in front of the stage, and they were all absorbed in a complicated dance of many individual twists and turns. I saw countless movements crossing each other in most delicate ways. Everything was continually and vivaciously changing directions, but--that was the miracle--nobody ever collided. Standing next to me was a man who had brought his wife and a child with him. They surely admired the dance and the trumpet play, but seemed confused. I felt the same. After I had watched and listened for a certain while, I turned to the man and asked him whether this was a matriculation ceremony. He replied with a strange gesture, and so I repeated my question several times until I understood that the man couldn't hear me; and I realized that the all the other people were deaf as well. He then pointed to a post that had escaped my attention. Attached to it was a flyposter, and I read:

 
 

"From sics ocloc ntil midnyt, wé wil acsept nú membrs! Join us! Wé want cóinsidens wiq iú! Wé ónli col iú tudá, ónli wns! Qóz hú mis qis oprtúniti wil mis it forevr! Qóz hú cer about qer fiútiúr bélok tú us! Evriwn is welcom! Wé néd evriwn æt qer plás! Qóz hú want tú djoin us wil bé welcomd on q spot! But huri up só qæt iú bé let in béfor midnyt! Evriqik wil bé xut doun ænd nevr ópn agen! Dæmnd bé qóz hú dú not bélév us!"

"From six o'clock until midnight, we will accept new members! Join us! We want coincidence with you! We only call you today, only once! Those who miss this opportunity will miss it forever! Those who care about their future belong to us! Everyone is welcome! We need everyone at their place! Those who want to join us will be welcomed on the spot! But hurry up so that you be let in before midnight! Everything will be shut down and never open again! Damned be those who do not believe us!"

 
 
 

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